knitting balance

Two months ago if you had asked me if I knit, I would have said "come on, now, where in the world would I find time for that!"  Now, I'm afraid I have caught the bug....and the bug has taken me over...

I picked up the needles for the first time on October 9th...and I'm on my fifth knitting project...my second sweater...this one is for a special girl named Ella...(I already asked Genevieve not to show her this entry.  On Christmas Ella will be 2 years old so this is her birthday gift!)


(I LOVE the bright colors in the rainbow sweater....seems you can't buy sweaters for girls with these colors in them.)

After the holidays I must figure a way to curb this addiction...to find a better balance.  Until then, I have more projects to get done...

This week Astrid is 17 months old! Here is a pic I snapped of her and Skagit. One of her favorite tricks lately is to crawl up and stand on chairs and tables and "surf" on Knee (her horse)... She's so full of mischief these days!! You can see a little hint of it (in her eyes and curled up mouth) in this photograph:

We are so proud of this little gal.  I counted the words that she says/signs and came up with 31!  I'm counting animal sounds...  I can't believe the language she has already...and her ability to communicate with us.  We are reveling in this fun stage that Astrid is in....although this stage also contains the 'not-so-fun' parts, too...  Mainly the part where she gets frustrated...starts flailing her arms...inadvertantly hitting me...  I have to be constantly vigilant during the day and make sure I have decided how to react when she does the things I don't want her to do.  I guess I'm reveling in this learning curve, too....although it's difficult.  I'm so lucky to have girlfriends who have been through this stage recently with their chidren.





(my new favorite photo of my girl)

sensational mount sentinel

(one of my favorite views of Sentinel on this hike...especially since Skagit's leading the way)

Today we made it over to Mt Sentinel for the second time this week!  It's pretty rare since Astrid still takes a morning nap and I feel so guilty sometimes when I drag her around doing what works for me (sweating seems to work really well for me) and my psyche (and skipping naps...he he he)...we go a couple/few times a week together but usually we stick to Blue Mtn since it is in my backyard...on our side of town.  Not such a commitment as Mt Sentinel.  BUT there is something that Mt Sentinel helps me feel that cannot be duplicated by any other trail in town.

It's so open and BIG and expansive and beautiful - and I love the view of town, and, and, and!  This morning there was some snow on the top half of the mountain.  We didn't have a lot of time to commit to Sentinel this morning.  But, we made it to the junction of the suicide trail (2/3 of the way up, or so).  It was pretty windy toward the top and I couldn't pull Astrid's pant leg down to cover up her bare skin...I unloaded the "Astrid" pack, reajusted the blankets to wrap her up just so and headed back down.

(rosy cheeks, happy girls)

(Don't you just LOVE LOVE LOVE Sentinel's sexy curves? Sentinel's dusting of snow and her awesome curves look so great in contrast with the Bitterroot Mtns in the background...yummy)

I am not sure what it was about the morning hike in the new snow with 17 month old Astrid on my back...but I was recentered, rebalanced...  I plan to continue taking in each moment and enjoy as if is my first cup of coffee in the morning...savoring every little nuance.  Ahhhh.

Astrid and I alway hustle on the way down the mtn...



(Sometimes, if you "scoot" smoothly enough - Astrid drifts off to sleep.)

there is always a lot between the lines

Today, Friday, November 13th, is Dad's birthday.  He would have been 69 years old.


(I love this pic of Dad and me on the St John River trip 1984.  He looks like a tough cop...and I look like the world's biggest tomboy)

Oh, it has been an emotional week for some reason, I have a lot on my mind...  I am sure it is compounded by the fact that today is Dad's birthday.  It seems that when this date (and the date he died: Jan 28th) rolls around each year it brings the emotions in my heart to the surface, and I feel pretty raw and exposed all of a sudden.

I was realizing there is so much that I don't say on this blog....you know, sometimes I leave out the real "guts" of my life. I show you what I want to show you...  I often think of this when I read other folks' blogs...what's REALLY going on.  It is difficult to read between the lines...  There is a lot between the lines, you know.


(I took this picture in the Fall of 1996.  Mom, Dad, Auntie Kathy and Uncle Mark on the Allagash.  I have such fond memories of this trip.)


(Dad's chest was so puffed out on a very proud day when his oldest and youngest graduated college in 2000.)


(My 2nd birthday!  I have to say my baby Astrid looks a little like her Mama in this picture.)


(December 18th, 1987)

So what is really going on inside, you wonder?

I have had a lot a lot a lot on my mind lately...  One person who has been on the absolute forefront of my mind is my cousin Kim.  She is fighting triple negative breast cancer and currently is in the hospital due to complications of her treatment (I hate that I feel so powerless to help her and her family.  I hate cancer.  But I truly believe she will beat it!  She is too ornery to have it any other way!).  She is an inspiration to me in every sort of way.  I find it strange that it is when you have such a war going on (against cancer) that you can see people for who they really are.  She is an amazing woman.  Mother of twin 8 year old sons, wife to a great guy named Andy, nurse, and many other things.  My thoughts are with them all the time.

Something else life has thrown our family.  Jeff has two brothers and both of them are going through divorces, right now.  (We haven't seen Astrid's cousins for almost two years and she has never met some of them.  Divorce sucks.)  Just the other day I was crying at the breakfast table and Astrid didn't even know what to think. 

I have two siblings who lost their jobs due to the economy, still looking for an income. 

My mother and sister can't sell their homes... 

It's a lot, and it's scary, and it feels good to write it down and put it out there to the universe, and try to let it go.  Life is messy and my family is no different.  I have my own worries, I feel powerless sometimes, but I know that every family has some form of this.  If I look around I can find someone else who has it much worse.  It doesn't make me feel better, but it does help me know that I'm not alone.

Those are the biggies in a nutshell.  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what is going on in my own nuclear family that it is difficult to see how I can help ease what is going on in my extended family...although they are never very far from my thoughts.

This is what's between the lines in my blog lately.  What's between your lines?

Well, I hear my babe in the other room, waking from her nap, so I gotta run.

Happy birthday, Dad!  I know you are with us, today.  Especially Mom.

photo session with two special boys

Yesterday I met up with two very special boys to take photographs in the afternoon.  Here are some of my favorites.  The weather cooperated, the lighting was perfect, and we had a great mix of personalities.  They even played an impromptu bowling match....to help break up the photo shoot.

rastafarian sweater

As some of you know - I took up knitting a few weeks ago...I figured I would make a Christmas stocking for Astrid and call it good. Well, I'm afraid I have stumbled upon something that is here to stay... I can't see an end to the project ideas I have in my mind...

I have a sweater that I have been working on for Astrid, but I ran out of the black yarn - so it is missing a sleeve (and I can't wait for the yarn store to open so I can finish it!)...I'm SURE you will be seeing more pics of her in it when I'm done.  When I first started knitting the sweater I wasn't sure about my choice of black...and I had a sinking feeling that I wouldn't like the end result...but once I started knitting the stripes a colorful rastafarian sweater appeared!

With a little help from Lisa & Sharon in a couple of tricky spots I had very little trouble.  It was a remarkably easy knit for a beginner.  I'm very anxious to hear what my sis-in-law Katie thinks!  She started knitting a couple years ago and has been knitting like crazy ever since!  These knitters in my life have been quite an inspiration to me!

parental amazement

I go through waves on my blog...I get on an Astrid kick where all I want to do is post pics of her, because the light seemed to be just perfect or I captured some little nuance of her spirit that I hadn't cought before...  Probably to the casual onlooker - she looks the same?  Not sure...


Anyway, Astrid is at such a fun age right now...full of mischief (as you can see from the photo below) and testing her limits.  Although Jeff has been out of town since last Sunday (he gets back today, YEY!) we have really had a fun time together.


She is saying SO MANY new things it's difficult to keep track of all of them these past couple weeks.  She learned how to sign "help" which has been great to ease her frustration with things when she can't physically do something.  I love it when she asks her mama for help.  Some other words are what sounds like "knee" (which is neigh - which, to Astrid is synonymous with Horse), wagon, "peas" (please), "um" (I have no idea what this is - but, I think it also means Mama), and tons more that I can't think of off the top of my head.  I can tell almost exactly what she wants, now, with either the sign, two words linked together, one word, a partial word, or a tiny pointing finger.  It's so cool.


It is so amazing to see her to continue to open up to the world around her.  She understands everything I am saying, and I mean EVERYTHING!  She is connecting things, like when she sees a butterfly in a book....she points to it, then her little finger wanders up in the room to a beautiful life-like hanging butterfly mobile that Auntie Genevieve made me.  I am so enjoying seeing this little human being grow!  And Jeff and I are her "guides"...

(isn't this awesome?  Genevieve handpaints each butterfly to true artistic perfection)

I want to share a couple photographs I took yesterday.  We went to the pool with friends Sharon and Jessie in the morning and this was after a little nap and a shower to get the chlorine off.  Astrid is NOT into showers.



(this is my favorite Astrid 'look')


On a totally dorky note, I was telling Mom that the Houlton webcam was back online and we'd been trying to do this (see photo) since we were training for our Iceland bicycle trip a couple years ago.  We'd always thought it would be fun for Mom and Auntie Carlene to call me on the cell phone while standing with their bikes in Market Square in front of the web camera!  Well they finally made it happen while out on their walk with the dogs! (Since Auntie Carlene's email is down I wanted to post this here, since I know she's an avid reader! he he he). I love you guys.

the human body: and its ever-adapting need-based shape

I know I have blogged about how amazed I am at what my body can do.  But, yesterday while I was hiking I took note of some changes that have occured in the last year and a half...

We hiked up this steep trail on Blue Mountain that I like to take to get a good fast sweat in.  I grabbed and pushed my thigh ~ to help us up the hill - but you wouldn't believe how freaking HUGE my thighs are getting carrying this growing girl around!  There are muscles (on the inside of my thigh) that didn't even exist before Astrid, not even with all the biking and running I found the time to do. 

Since I stopped nursing Astrid 2 months ago I have been wearing a bra that is a cup size too big, and my pants are getting a bit tighter in the butt.  So, my suspicions were correct!  Astrid was sucking the fat right off my booty!  My arms are not as much in use carrying Astrid these days, so while they remain strong they are back to the good ol' skinny Olive Oils they always were.

In the last two years my body adapted to grow a little human being for 9 months... then, while nursing Astrid my body answered back with porn star quality curves (but no butt)...  killer arms carrying her around in that car seat the first six months, now legs that could win the Tour de France.  I have to say I'm waiting to see what happens next.

It's good to be back in a body I recognize.